Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone – Gladys Bronwyn stern
As for the people who don’t appreciate the things you do for them, you choose to ignore them and continue doing what you do for, that is who you are. Or you stop doing what you do because people don’t recognise the efforts you put in. Or you could also tell people openly that it would be nice if they at least sometimes remember what you have done for them and appreciates it. Sometimes just being candid about how you feel will do the trick.
Everyone faces the same thing at some level (including me) a lot of people come to us when they need help and forgot that we exist; soon after. But you don’t need to bother in spite of this you should feel good, the fact they turn you in times of need is a reflection who they think you as a person someone trustworthy, reliable and helpful. That in itself is a damn good feeling.
You learn that everyone is good at pretending and talking until its time for actions. They either step or disappear, you learn not to believe everything they say and watch how they act.
You learn that sometimes they act spontaneously without thinking about tomorrow. You learn that without consistency and reassurance you have nothing and they are not going to change.
You learn that the person who didn’t appreciate you is not a bad one. They just appreciate other people more. They know how to appreciate the ones they truly want.
You learn that questioning yourself for doubting what could have done to make them appreciate doesn’t really help you or change the situation. There’s nothing you could have done or less than you would have changed the way they saw you.
You learn that mixed signals or excuses don’t mean they are confused, they know very well what they want. They just don’t want to hurt you so they stick to it out for a little longer so it doesn’t seem so abrupt.
Sometimes they will never give you the closure you deserve and you may never know the real reason why they never gave you a chance because they will always find a way to twist the truth so they don’t feel bad about themselves.
You learn that you have to keep your guard up no matter how much you are into someone because the more they sense the more you like them; the less they will appreciate you. Unless it is mutual or you both have to be equally invested.
You learn how to appreciate yourself. You begin to find ways to love yourself and not let one person define your value and your self -worth. That you can survive on your own and even thrive.
You learn to trust what you can’t understand. you learn that being your best self and giving someone all your doesn’t mean they will appreciate you. You learn to let go.
I learned many things about myself. I’m not particularly hung on being shown gratitude, I appreciate good manners. I have demonstrated a desire to serve to please and to do more for others than I expect in return in my life. I’m certainly no saint but I have never expected others to do things for me in order to justify me doing something for them. In fact, I’m terrible at taking help and especially bad at asking for it.
I have learned a great deal about myself through this process and I have learned much about others and how I interact with them too.
I’m taken for granted when my good deeds and goodwill are taken as read when it just assumed that I will act with generosity and compliance regardless of whether expectations of others are reasonable or deserved.
“At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you”ll still be worth it to the right person”.
~Adv Ankita Wadhwa